Just love it...

That random moment that your toddler comes running up out of the blue gives you a hug and a kiss says "I love you Daddy" and goes back to playing. Heart fills with joy.

It's a sad time of year

11 years ago on this day I got a phone call at work in Edmonton, it was my oldest brother Tom, "Robin you need come home, Dad is in the hospital and its not good." So started a chain of events over the next four days that saw my father, the man I grew up loving and learning from pass away quietly in the ICU at the General Hospital surrounded by his family after having choked on his lunch and never regaining consciousness. Like I said its been 11 years and I know he is watching over us and over my kids and I talked to them about him all the time. Below is the letter I wrote to him last year on the tenth anniversary of his death.

Dear Dad,

Its 10 years since you left us so suddenly you are always on my mind. Since I became a father I often think back to the life lessons I learned from you and hope that I can teach Oscar those same skills as well as you did.

I think back to that Thursday in 2003 when I got the phone call at my office, from Tom of all people. I knew something was wrong when I answered the phone and it was him, he would never call me. The terror that ran threw me at that moment made me almost sick right on the spot. I remembering going to my boss’s office and telling her I had to leave as I had to get to Ottawa.  The next few hours were a blur of booking a flight, packing and waiting for morning to come.

I can still clearly remember the movie on the plan on the way back to Ottawa was Bruce Almighty. The irony isn’t lost on me.  The rest of the time is a blur. I can remember holding your hand at your bedside and feeling the warmth in your hand and willing you to wake up, knowing it was not going to happen.

There is so much that in the past ten years that you have missed and we have missed having you here for. I know I missed having you at mine and Laurens wedding, I know you were there in spirit but it would have been much better to have you there in person.

The big one event though for me is that you missed becoming a grandfather again. I know you would love Oscar. He is so fun and playful and full of spirit and every time he does something new and I tell mom about it, I wish that she was telling you as well. I hope that you are watching down over him and keeping him safe. Also we are expecting a second child in January and I know you are looking down on them and keeping them safe until they are born.

I love you and I miss you Dad.

Love Always,

Robin

xo