9 working days to go....

Wow oh wow the time is ticking down….9 working days left till the work really begins. It is incredible the changes that are happening with Oscar and all the things he is noticing and becoming aware of in his world. Last Monday, he was 8 months old, and it made me think back to that night that Oscar arrived, and how cold it was when Lauren and I were driving into the hospital. We were so surprised at his arrival 3 weeks early and now to look at him and see that little crying baby is growing steadily into the little guy in front of me. He's smiling, with teeth coming through, saying the cheerful “Da-da”, and doing a full body shake when he sees me come in the room because he is so excited to see me. It is a feeling that fills me with such happiness and makes me smile.

On the weekend, Oscar and I went shopping at Bayshore for a new phone for me while I am off on pat leave since I have to turn in my Blackberry. When I got the phone, the guy asked me what I would like the last 4 digits to be, and with not even a moment hesitation I said 6727 - it's Oscar without the A. 

On the weekend, we have cousins coming to stay and they have 3 small kids, with a 4th on the way, so it will be a lot of fun for Oscar as our house is usually quiet and subdued.

The time is moving faster now and with all the preparation, I think I am ready.  

What a fair weekend it was...

This past weekend was the 167th annual Richmond Fair and Oscar's first chance to attend. Saturday morning was the parade from the High School to the Fair grounds and I took Oscar to see it. We got there a little early and settled in and we had a great time. I thought for sure when the fire trucks sounded their horns right in front of us he would get upset, but all that happened was that his eyes opened even larger and he just stared. I love being able to share that with him.

After the parade we went home for lunch and nap time for Oscar so he would be nice and rested for his trip to the fair in the evening.

Now does anyone remember their first trip to Ottawa Exhibition or anything of the like? It was a total assault on the senses of sight, sound and smell. Oscar was no different; we headed over to the carousel so I could take Oscar for a ride and I could tell he wasn’t his usual smiling self. We stopped at a kids game and the object was simple; the child just had to pick a rubber duck out of the little pool. Usually Oscar would love this, but it took a bit for him to grab one. He did win a cute little teddy bear that we added to his collection in his room. After the ride we went to the bouncy castles so that our friends’ kids could play in those; it didn’t go well for Oscar. He was on the verge of tears and the music and the lights and noise was just too much. I took him out of the stroller and put him in the carrier so I could keep him closer. He and I walked away and headed for a quieter part of the fair.  Once we were in the crafts building, he was smiling again and was almost back to himself. It had never occurred to me how overwhelming it all would be for the little guy. I felt bad and just wanted to hold him tight.

We grabbed some dinner and Lauren tried feeding him but we were still too near the loud rides and he just wouldn’t eat. Lauren suggested I take him away and feed him where it was quieter (we had brought some bottled milk with us). That worked and he ate and relaxed and then it was time to head home.

Hopefully next year he will enjoy it more; he will be around 18 months old and mobile.

All around, a Fair weekend.

Did I ever tell you about the time I grew a giant beard...

Did I ever tell you about the time I grew a giant beard? Only twice so far in my life have I grown a full beard. The first time was in protest to the House of Commons perroging and the second time was a labor of love for my unborn child and a way of measuring the time and effort my wife put into being pregnant.  In May 2010, when we found out Lauren was pregnant, we came up with a way for me to be part of the process, I was to grow my beard and not touch or trim it for the entire 9 months until the baby was born. This was for a few reasons, the main one being that it would help for me to track the timeline of Lauren’s pregnancy and give me something measurable. (To note, I also gave up for the duration of the pregnancy: coffee, alcohol, and sushi).
The beginning stages of the beard in my opinion were the worst. It was so itchy and scratchy and I just wanted to shave, but that would defeat the whole purpose.  As it grew, it got a life of its own. Some people understood the point; others just didn’t get it. I was diligent about combing it and keeping it neat looking, although it was harder as it grew bigger and I must say it did keep me warm in the winter.  
By the time Oscar was born, it was rather impressive. I think that I learned that, as a timeline for such an event, it was perfect because by the time Lauren was ready to finally have Oscar, I was ready to get rid of my beard! We took a couple of pictures with Oscar, showing the beard. 

The same night at the hospital I shaved it off into a garbage can; it felt so good!

I would say to any father to-be to try this and see how it feels. The process is one that takes patience and a willingness to be part of the whole pregnancy with your wife. 
I think next time I will grow my hair. 

Rembering the day that changed how I looked at the world

This posting is a reflection on my Dad and how we lost him 8 years ago.

September 4, 2003, it was a Thursday, I am at work in Edmonton and Lauren is in Ottawa visiting family. Her vacation is winding down before she heads back to Edmonton. She is meeting my parents for lunch today, a nice visit before heading back West. I am looking forward to her return and not looking forward to my dentist appointment I have scheduled for the Saturday morning before she returns.  
The phone on my desk rings…it’s my personal line…no one has this number but Lauren…I look at the time and it’s just around lunch time in Ottawa with the time difference. The call display says Bell payphone. I pick up the line…it’s my oldest brother…a sense of panic grips me…why is he calling…he would never call me…he speaks and the words run through me like ice:
Tom -”Dad's in the hospital you need to come home…”
Me- “What’s going on, where’s Lauren? What’s happened?”
Tom – “Dad is in the hospital and it doesn’t look good you need to come now.”
Me – I start shaking and can’t even think straight “Okay…”
Tom – Hangs up
I go to my boss’ office and say to her “I have to go, something has happened to my Dad in Ottawa. I don’t know when I am going to be back”. She says to me “No problem, Robin; take as much time as you need and go be with your family and let me know what’s happening.”
I gather my things from my desk and head out and once in the car I start calling people. I am very upset. I get a hold of my brother Shane and he fills me in a little on what’s happened.  Lauren was having lunch with Mum and Dad at Kelsey’s at South Keys and he choked on his lunch and is currently in intensive care and the General Hospital. I tell him I am heading home and to have Lauren call me when I get home.
I get home and start trying to find a flight out to Ottawa. The first one I can get is first thing the next morning. I book the flight and arrange for a pick up at the airport by one of my brothers.  
I talk with Lauren and she tells me everything that happened. My parents picked her up and they decided to go somewhere close by for lunch so they went to South Keys. Once there, it was a choice between Denny’s or Kelsey’s. When they were entering the restaurant, Joy to the World by Three Dog night was playing and my mum turned to my Dad and said “It’s our song” (Apparently back in the day when this song would come on at the mess they would dance to it). They ordered lunch and while they were waiting Dad asked Lauren “How’s Robin’s garbage business going?” (At the time I was working for Waste Management in Edmonton). Their lunches arrived and they started eating and mum and Lauren were talking; suddenly they realize my Dad wasn’t saying anything and they realized he was choking. They call over a waiter who tried the Heimlich maneuver (Please note that when attempting the Heimlich maneuver you have basically one opportunity to dislodge whatever is stuck with the air that is in the lungs at the time, so it’s really a one shot deal) to open my Dad’s airway but it wasn’t working. Meanwhile someone had called 911, but Dad was turning blue. Lauren and my Mum couldn’t do anything but wait for the ambulance. By the time the ambulance got there and got in and they partially opened his airway, he had been without oxygen for almost 20 minutes.

September 5, 2003 - I barely sleep all night; I am at the airport by 5:30am (flight leaves at 8am). Throughout the whole flight I can't think of anything but what is going to happen. I did take the time to watch the in-flight movie to try and get my brain relaxed; it was Bruce Almighty. Once I land, Shane picks me up at the airport and we head to the hospital. He takes me straight to the IC unit to see Dad. He is just lying there on the bed all hooked up to IV units, heart monitor, and breathing unit. I remember his hands were so warm and I expected him to react when I took his hand, but nothing. You know when you have some hope, based unfortunately on movies and TV, that when a family member from afar arrives, that the person in the hospital is going to have some miraculous recovery and wake up to their touch - it doesn’t work that way. We find out from the doctors that there isn’t any brain activity and it appears due to the lack of oxygen, but we should wait and see. Wait and see, maybe Saturday will bring some changes. Julie arrives from Sault Saint Marie. Now the whole family is in town.

September 6, 2003 - Saturday morning dawns bright, sunny, and a little cool. We head up to the cottage to collect things for Mum and Dad and to get Dad's truck and bring it back to the city.  Just two days before at work in Edmonton, I had been showing people pictures from the cottage that my mum had emailed me and saying how much I missed it and here I was standing at the cottage thinking “This is not the way I wanted to be here.” We collect Dad’s truck and close down the cottage and head back to the city. Everyone is at the hospital and the family meets with the doctor again and he gives us our choices, as another MRI and CT scan has shown that there is no brain activity and that Dad is in a vegetative state. Either we leave him on life support for an indefinite period of time or we take him off life support and let him pass away. Mum calls a family meeting at her house for dinner time to make a decision. We all know though what the best decision is, but she wants everyone to have a say in the matter. Everyone is there, all the children and their spouses, as this decision affects everyone. Mum lays out what the doctor said and everyone agrees that the best course of action knowing that Dad would never want to live his life as a vegetable, was to take him off life support. We decide to do it on Sunday afternoon. Everyone heads home.

September 7, 2003 – We spend the majority of the day at the hospital knowing what is coming. They unhook the breather and they monitor him. They tell us that it doesn’t generally happen right away but it can take awhile. Each time they come in to adjust him or as they call it "roll him", to prevent fluid building up, it takes its toll on the body and the vitals will drop. For over 5 hours we stay and we wait and we watch. Finally around 11:00pm the nurse says that she believes the next time she rolls him that it will be the end and if anyone who isn’t here needs to get here, we should call them now. A couple of people had gone home to refresh and we call and get them to come back as soon as they can. Just around 11:30pm the nurse rolls Dad and his vitals start to drop faster and she leaves the room; at approximately 11:47 he passes away and the only sound in the room is the heart monitor flat lining and the emotions coming from all of us as we cry and hold each other. The nurse comes in and turns off the heart monitor and asks if we want she can remove all the tubing so that we can say goodbye. We all step out of the room while she takes care of that and I remember my brother turning to Lauren and I and saying “He was supposed to see you get married." The nurse says we can go back in, and everyone that wants to goes in one last time to say goodbye. I am one of the last ones to leave and I lean over and give him a goodbye kiss on the forehead and let him know that I will always love him and miss him. It was a solemn procession that left the General Hospital that night just after midnight; I drove home alone as Lauren was driving mum home and it’s a night I will never forget.

It was 8 years ago today that my Father passed away and there is so much I wish I could tell him and show him. I wanted him to be at my wedding, I wanted him to meet his grandson, and I just wanted him around. I know, though, at the time of his passing he was going to be starting on Aricept, which is a drug given for the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and he had gone through a couple of strokes but was doing okay. I am just not sure what his quality of life would be like now if it hadn’t happened.  

I learned a lot from him growing up and looking back, I appreciate those lessons in life. Sometimes they were hard and I didn’t understand why, but it helped me learn and become the person I am today. I appreciate the fact that, because of him, I know how to tie a fisherman’s knot, change a starter motor in a truck, how to make Yorkshire pudding, and so many other things that I wouldn’t know if it weren’t for him. While we didn’t always see eye to eye, I knew he loved me and I loved him. 

Rest In Peace Dad

5 Days a week...

5 Days a week….

Wow. I totally love long weekends with Oscar and Lauren. It was a great 5 days that I wish didn’t have to end.

On Thursday we headed up to Wal-Mart in Carleton Place to pick up a few things. I really like that store; it’s nice and quiet and clean. I had to pick up some comfy pants for when Oscar and I start his programs. Actually this Saturday is our first start of the programs, we are doing the Joyful Beginnings at http://theloftschoolofartanddance.ca/ It’s owned and run by friends of ours that live in Richmond. For the first couple of weeks I will be taking him and then when my leave kicks in, Saturdays will be my relax day, so Lauren will take Oscar to the classes instead.

On Friday we went downtown in the morning and had breakfast at Zak’s diner in the market and Oscar had his breakfast there as well. It was so good. The server actually remembered us from the last time we were there about 3 weeks before. We are looking forward to them opening the Zak’s diner in Kanata soon. They serve up an awesome breakfast and good food all around.

Saturday was Daddy and Oscar day and we headed out a little late as Oscar decided he wanted to sleep in till 8:45am. After getting him some breakfast, we were out the door by 9:10am. Our first stop of the morning was to see Erik and Meagan as it had been awhile. It was a nice visit, but Oscar was a little unsure of Gunnar (world loving dog) and Mabel (social issues cat). Then it was off to Miss Tiggy Winkles in Westboro to see if they had a toy in that I was looking for; it’s a set of keys with a remote attached. They didn’t have it in currently. Then it was off to Grandma’s house for some milk and a diaper change.  After some relaxing, it was off to visit his cousin Calvin at Rona and then home for lunch.  After nap and dinner. we headed out to do groceries for the week in Stittsville.

Sunday morning I spent from 6:30am till about 10am making baby food for Oscar for the week. Steaming beets and broccoli and frying up extra lean ground meat and then one by one pureeing them into a nice paste for Oscar. It’s all worth it as then I know what’s going into the food. Then it was getting Oscar ready for Church and off we go. I swear he attracts followers and fans anywhere we go. The couple sitting behind us in church just loved him and he was all smiles for them and they loved it. We ran some errands after Church and back home for his lunch and then nap time routine. He just loves his Jolly Jumper and fast music; it’s a great way to tucker him out before nap time. Early Sunday evening was an unscheduled bath as there was a little accident. But, it was at that time we realized that he is starting to finally enjoy bath time and it will become a regular night-time event prior to bed. Once he was down for the night, I got a chance to do some chores and get things cleaned up around his chair and in the kitchen.

Monday we headed into Nepean in the morning and stopped and grabbed a Geocache near Algonquin College; it was one that was hidden by his cousin Zac. I had Oscar in the Baby Bjorn carrier and he got to sign off on the log as well. Heading back to the house, we made some lunch and then it was nap time, but he went down a little earlier and cried for a bit and finally soothed himself to sleep.  He was out till just about 4pm. Then around 5pm, even before dinner, it was another quick trip upstairs for another emergency bath. Then it was dinner for him and for us followed by some down time in the family room. We tried for an earlier bedtime on Monday night to try and get him into the routine that he and I will be doing come fall.  He was out like a light, asleep by 8pm.

This morning (Tuesday) he woke up just around 5:20am for a feed and the best part of that was walking in to get him for Lauren and he gives me a great big smile...for me that is the best way to start my day.

Off to work I went and those 5 days were a great time and I look forward to my time this fall when it is 5 days every week and more….

Back in time...Tuesday night or was it Weds morning???

Holy Carp! I thought this had ended…why am I up at 2:30am? Oscar is crying and I am not sure why. He was having a grumbly night as it was. I went into his nursery and sat with him and rocked him back to sleep. The moment I put him down, he grumbles, rolls over, and starts crying again. My first thought is “Holy Carp, we've gone back in time 3 months and I lost the keys to the Delorean. “ So by 3am, Lauren decided that a feeding might work and sure enough, down he went. Needless to say, the whole day at work I am exhausted and hoping that Lauren and Oscar are doing okay.

Keep the countdown rolling…